my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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