I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
