okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
