You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
