Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
