I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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