I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
