just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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