they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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