Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
