8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
