so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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