i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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