I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
