Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
this is an emotional support booty call
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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