apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
