it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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