We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
