It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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