Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
