She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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