The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
