At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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