we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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