Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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