Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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