Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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