You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
