i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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