just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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