And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
