My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
