guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
time to smoke my breakfast
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
