do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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