I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
