it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
