We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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