Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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