their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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