Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
