Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
