I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
