i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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