We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
