you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish you could order shots online.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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