The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
