Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
