bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
