so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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