Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
