Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
