i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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