so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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