? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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