dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
