i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
