How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
