are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Duck Duck Cougar?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize