White coat. Heels.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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